The debate "Spanking your children is not abuse" was started by
July 27, 2015, 10:06 pm.
96 people are on the agree side of this discussion, while 61 people are on the disagree side.
That might be enough to see the common perception.
It looks like most of the people in this community are on the agreeing side of this statement.
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and not simply submit themselves to pain.
my father almost tried to kill me thrice because of repeated reasons, either i talked back and/or slammed door. that is even a higher level of discipline than spanking. it got me scared at first (i was afraid of losing my life) but it didnt really made me learn, because i really didnt care about him, i didnt love him, i just wanted to protect my life. i am respectful yet i did not care and his threatening my life did not really addressed the problem.
for me, what is more important than our interest of wanting our children to be perfect and obedient, is our effort to try to undestand them and protect them. we feed them and provide them with their needs but we do not care if we spank them just because we want them disciplined. my mother molded me very effectively with love and wisdom. let us always remember that no matter how naughty our childrens are that you think they deserve spanking, they will always remember us by how we treated them and made them feel.
"punishment on a higher level". spanking becomes a punishment of 'a higher level' because it is not promoted to be used for discipline, thus it is less used. let's say that you spank your child everytime he does something uncontrollable, or if spanking becomes common since it would not be considered an abuse, do you think that the child wouldnt get immuned to it? because
you told us that spanking is not abuse if it does not lead to bruises, meaning the pain would still be bearable to a point. and
you told us that realization would only be attainable once pain is inflicted. THEREFORE, if the pain is bearable enough, then the "light spanking" which is "not an abuse" would not be that effective. and if the child accidentally does something that is "worthy of spanking" and notices that the intensity of the spank is still the same, then they would get the assurance that they will not be really harmed. supposing that your child is a very stubborn one, and youve noticed that your spanking is not effective anymore, then spanking becomes a punishment levelled with grounding and timing out in terms of effectivity.
spanking lightly may lead to your children being too "kompante"(i'll search for the english term later). now tell me
if in those two situations when you were spanked, were you spanked lightly? because if you were not spanked lightly then the intense spanking have not scared you because you still did something the second time around. for you it was effective, so let me ask you again if it was also NOT TRAUMATIZING as
said spanking is not an abuse if it is not traumatizing and not lead to pain for more than 2 days. then
DID THE PAIN OF YOUR PARENT'S SPANKING NOT LAST FOR 2 DAYS?
for example my son punched his classmate for an unreasonable reason, and i reduced his allowance to 1/4th and other more ways to make him realize his mistake, would that not teach him that he also cant get away with everything just as spanking "would do"? and is that not an act that is not prohibited by law?
so what then are we actually doing when we hit a child? i think spanking is a lazy and easy way to discipline a child where there is no call to think of a better, more sound or reasonable way to make them realize the things that theyre doing. when you punish them for example by reducing their allowance, you teach them to be responsible for their actions and not simply submit themselves to
disagree I don't spank my baby girl she's one an two mths I have not spanked or popped her not once an I never will spanking is a reason for the adult to get there own aggression out because there to lazy to discipline the right an effective way it takes time just like potty training a puppy but spanking you don't want your child to be submissive to you you don't want them to be submissive to anyone you want them to be strong an on there on two feet that's not away to get true respect from your child if your baby got back up to grab that cookie then you take things away you do time out over an over for how many minutes of there age because there not gonna want to go to time out over an over all day they hate it
Could you provide any research that backs up the claim that spanking is effective? I have looked into it extensively and have found numerous studies showing negative effects and plenty that demonstrate that there is no positive benefits that could not be achieved more effectively with another form of discipline.
Why should spanking be there? What does your child learn from spanking that cannot be taught better without hitting them?
Research has repeatedly shown that spanking increases aggression and violence in children. It has been linked to depression later in life as well as other psychological problems. By demonstrating that violence is an acceptable way to get people to do what you want you are setting a terrible example for your child.
That's not true. There are parents who are out of control with it but for those who do it the right way it teaches the kid to be submissive to those in charge of him and that he can't get away with everything. And when I say do it right, it means you don't spank the kid just because he gets a cookie for dinner, but you do if he asks three or four times, you tell him no each time, then he still tries to grab the cokkie and you catch him, send him to timeout, then he ends up eating it anyway when you step out of the room to answer your phone. Spanking should not be your first option, but it should certainly be up there. Also, spanking shouldn't leave any bruises or scars of any kind, and the kid shouldn't still be in pain 2 days later. This is no longer spanking, its abuse.
no it's just teaching them how to be violate scared of you an it never doe's no good you would be spanking your kid all the time for the same things it's just away to get your frustration out when you can't handle your temper it is abuse they can't defend there selfs I think if you have the urge to hit your kid maybe you don't deserve a beautiful gift as a child there are other ways to get your child to behave it's called respect an you won't respect someone that smacks an spanks you
spare the rod spoil the child.
it must be understood here that there are lot of cases in which spanking proves to be effective.. but it can only be effective if it is controlled... certain mischiefs are surely to be treated with spakings. but it should be kept in mind that the self esteem of the child is not hurt.
I can tell you it did change my behavior because I was really disrespectful until that day, for real, no matter how much they told me I had to be respectful I would still be super disrespectful, but oh that day! Although I know that spanking me today wouldn't change much I still regret my actions. So yeah.
One personal example of a time you were spanked does not change years of research showing that spanking is not an effective method of parenting. You also said that you were spanked a total of twice. That means that your parents taught you to be respectful and well behaved through other means in all but two situations, so how can you say that the spanking taught you those lessons as opposed to the other years of parenting?
PsychDave I have been spanked about two times in my whole lifetime and I must say I deserved it, hitting my sister with a toy REALLY HARD in the face (purposely) and screaming to my mom she's a stupid idiot... I regret those two things and since then I have tried not to hit anybody, unless they threaten my family or my integrity with violence, and I'm actually very respectful.
Spanking is a corporal punishment, you may say. But according to psychologists, punishment decreases the likelihood that a response will occur again in future. So parents spanking their children would make so sense as their main aim is for them to learn and acknowledge for what they are being rebuked.
This is a terrible topic. No context is given. Excessive spanking? Is THAT what we're talking about? I am all for constructive discipline; however, excessive spanking constitutes abuse.
Could you provide evidence that spanking is effective in teaching lessons? Without that justification it us just hitting a child.
Spanking is way of teaching a lesson. Lol but not too much! One realizes mistakes when inflected with pains (pains of considerable reason). Spanking a child must also be in a right tract. Spanking a child because of very shallow reason of committing mistakes won't do any good to a child. In early stages, counseling must be imposed first before climbing up the ladder of tighter discipline. Children is not yet that mature to understand what he's been doing so parental couseling must take its course. They tend to rebel if spanking becomes a habitual routine whenever a child commits mistakes, it abuses their rights already.
The only answer I have ever heard is because the adult is trying to teach the child to behave, while another adult should know already, and if they do not it is not your responsibility to teach them. The idea is to correct bad behavior, which is a good goal. The problem is that research shows that spanking and other forms of corporal punishment increase violence and aggression since the child learns that physical force is an appropriate way to deal with problems.
By the way, I was asking a non-rhetorical, open ended question. if you have the ability to agree or disagree, you also have the ability to answer the question. I could care less if you like or dislike it, so I'll ask it again.
Why is it ok to strike children, but not ok to strike adults?
Pavlovian conditioning isn't necessary for children to learn what's right and what's wrong. There's no correlation to spanking and better behavior.
The bigger point I would make however, is that basically the only type of people you're allowed to physically strike in society are defenseless children. If defenseless granma in her wheelchair doesn't act the way you want her to act, should we smack her across the face?
So what justifies striking children as opposed to adults?
Alright. I look forward to it. (since I know text does not convey tone, that is not sarcasm)
want me to give information that says its not?
I'll be on tomorrow.
there is a difference between beating and spanking as long as you are not leaving welts and bruises and you make sure that your children know that you do love them they will be fine.
it is only abuse if your child is left traumatized or has some type of long term pain.
By saying this you are ignoring all recent research into effective parenting, discipline and childhood development. There have been many studies showing the inefficacy of spanking, showing the harm it can do, and showing more effective methods of discipline. Spanking is not an effective form of punishment. If it does not correct the bad behavior, it provides no real benefit, so you are causing physical pain to a child for no real reason.
If you would like I can provide references to some studies, but I know many people use their phones, making links useless. I could also provide brief synopses of the studies, but I will wait to see if you would like me to of if you would prefer to research for yourself (which is what I tend to do personally).
In todays society, kids need to be punished on a higher level. The line between parenting and abuse may be thin, but I believe it's needed. Grounding and being put on "time out" doesn't exactly work most of the time. I wouldn't exactly call spanking abuse unless it is being carried away. For example, kids being spanked for absolutely no reason.